Saturday, November 2, 2013

Amazing Alex: Dreams

"I was a dreamer before you went and let me down."
-Taylor Swift

I have so many things in this world that I want to conquer. I want to conquer love, the education to make it to a college of my choice, to have a career that I love, to write songs about my crush(es), and just live a beautiful life.

I found a way to connect dreams to bullying... two things that I am very passionate about. Dreams are something that I always find in my heart. As for bullying, it's something I stand up against. I have been through traumatic times when I was so depressed from people calling me names and other horrible things... sometimes those things come back and they haunt me... and it paralyzes me.

All I want... it to feel okay again. That's my dream. There are all of these social media sites... and the one that I get put down a lot on is my Someone told me that I was heartless. If we flashback in time, I was called things like "ugly," "a slut," "a hoe," "a whore," and I'm sure you know where those things lead to... "she did that with him..." and "did you hear what she did last weekend?" 

Truth be told I haven't done anything with anyone... I finally got my first kiss a few weeks ago. That's my biggest dream... to feel okay again... and feel wanted... and feel those feelings I haven't felt in the longest time....  

It's kind of like a heart attack that keeps coming back... it never, ever goes away. The pain... it just comes flashing back in echoes.

I'm tied up into swirls of misery,
Lost you and now I've lost me.

I've been surrounding myself with better people lately, compared to backstabbers, liars, and people who down me all the time. I've been around people who not only smell good, but who treat me like an actual human being.

I always find myself constantly looking back on my relationships with people... whether they're actual relationship or if they're just friendships. If you read my blog, my personal blog, then you would know that my most recent boyfriend accused me of cheating (with 3 different guys I may add.) 

This song is perfect. I feel like it's helping me recover from the tragic incident. I just picture him feeling the pain and the emotions that this artist is going through. It's not that I was "running around" I was just socializing... nothing more. A hug as far as anything goes. Not that that should matter.

I suppose that karma will help me get revenge on the one who broke me to pieces and let me bleed on broken glass.

My dream is to feel okay again... and live the life I've always dreamt of... which I have yet to discover.

Thanks for reading! Xoxo,


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